I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
