so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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