you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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