Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
