it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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