do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
