***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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