Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
