Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
