Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
