she was so not down for the gang bang
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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