haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
zippers are such a cool invention
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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