it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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