Im at strip club and am horny
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
