He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
