There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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