I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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