Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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