that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
