at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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