I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
