thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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