member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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