We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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