im having a threesome with these popsicles
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
