No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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