Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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