I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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