Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
