At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
