Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
