Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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