my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
