well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
