I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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