Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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