would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
