can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
