We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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