I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
is it fun? or sober?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
