She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
MIDGETS
????
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
