You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize