what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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