i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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