Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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