I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish you could order shots online.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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