i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
