Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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