Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
