I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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