I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
found the other keg... it's in the tree
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
