Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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