Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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