i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
