I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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