i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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