Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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