pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
