I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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