i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I party with great urgency now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
