Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
