I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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