our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
