remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
